Amanda's Story: Rising From Rock Bottom

I learned to care for myself, my parents and the house at 6 years old. Started cooking, dishes, laundry... you name it..... at 6 years old, even washing my own dad's underpants. My mom was around, but did nothing. My dad worked and was an abusive drunk growing up. I went to school bruised wherever he hit me. At 10 year old, I started raising my own sister and still going to school.  Mom moved us back and forth all the time, man after man. Fast forward to 17... I was raped, out of fear I stayed with him. He was controlling and physically abusive. Few years of it and a kid later, I fought back and left. Next was verbally abusive, controlled everything, recorded phone calls, drank. Came at me with a hammer one night, backing me into me own kid's room. Got away while he was at work and left a lot behind. Fast forward to 35... Got involved with someone I went to middle school with and got me involved in drugs, so bad I'd black out a lot, almost left for dead twice, hotel deal with me as pawn and didn't know until a year later, narcissist, things some people can't think to imagine. A friend nursed me at a black out time, said I stopped using bathroom, not eating or drinking, got to death bed, but she pushed me through, pushed fluids and talked to me. Got arrested for the first time in my life, my home broken in to while gone, lost my kids, lost my home and job.

Stayed with best friend until I could get on my feet. The crippling stomach pains began and trying to get back to normal began. Had chances to go back to it but stayed away, thinking of my kids and my life back. Fast forward to now... Relationship 2 years with man who has loved me since we met at 15 years old and kids back. A special needs kid. I don't deserve him, but true love shines.

Why do I identify with the brand? Because I've been through so much more than can write and relate to many others. We make broken beautiful.  What turned my life around was going to jail. Seeing police pull up, taking my ex then cops took me to talk by their vehicle as my 11 year old daughter was crying in my van. Cops told me to go say what I needed to her. Tears in eyes, but not to cry in front of her saying what I needed to. They didn't cuff me until out of her sight.  Sitting in that court room, officer pulled me aside and served me restraining order on my daughter in court room, went back to my seat with cuffs on to wait to go in front of judge, while sitting waiting I broke into tears. 

My favorite BD saying/item is 2 really,  "Her pain became the flames that set her soul on fire" and "Though my petals may be worn never underestimate the power of my thorns". Both really hit me as the pain of that day with daughter in van at arrest time and don't underestimate me because I'm fighting back. I rose from the ashes, from rock bottom.