Jessy Ulrich - Escaping Abuse and Fighting For Her Kids

Hey I'm Jessy, 32 years old and a mother to three kids. I honestly couldn't tell you what makes me a beautiful person but I can tell you what makes me a beautiful disaster.

Starting from when I was born I can say that my mother never wanted me but enjoyed making my dad suffer time after time when he would ask to see me. My mother kept me from him my entire childhood and I only remember seeing him a few times growing up. She was very abusive verbally to me, always name calling, always screaming at me that I was never going to be anything but a failure. Actually my grandma would say these things to but more when I got to high school.

At the age of 14 I had hit my breaking point with my family and tried to kill myself. I took a bunch of pills and wasn't even sure what all I took and cut my wrists pretty deep. my mother never noticed, never asked what was going on. So I went to school and didn't even make to to first class when I fainted in the hallway and all my friends seen what was wrong. Of course my mother was called and while waiting for the EMS she had the nerve to tell my counselor "it's just a cry for attention, she must be mad at me for something I said." I was admitted to a hospital for a few weeks and doctors even told her that it wasn't  for attention, that I had some mental issues that needed to be addressed quickly.

Still, my mother said it was nothing. So after I got out and on meds and out patient therapy my mother left me with my grandma and signed all her rights over to her, took my younger brother and was gone. I wouldn't see her again till I was 19 and a mother too.  High school was hard, not to mention having no parents around and a grandmother who thought you were a failure too, I struggled to keep grades up and struggled to keep friends.

At 18 I got pregnant and still managed to finish high school even though I had to repeat a year. But at 19 I was out of school and a new mother which I had no clue what to do. For the next 6 years I had two my babies with the same guy and was in a very abusive relationship. Everything from physical to verbal, a lot of mental and even at times sexual. This was my life, 3 kids and a man who would get drunk or high and abuse me and no family to help. In 2011 I finally left him and tried to start over, but over the years he would cause more problems for me. I've tried to give my mother chances and they always failed, I tried fixing my relationship with my family and it never got anywhere. I battle with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder and PTSD.

My ex used these against me and with the help of my mother he was given custody of our kids, I haven't had them home in 2 years but I talk to them regularly. Because I let a monster control me for so long and beat me down I allowed him to win. I have learned to accept my past and learned what love is and what love is not. I practice self care and talk with others who have been in my shoes or close to it. I am also a mentor for parents who have wrongfully lost a child/children to the other parent. I learned to that what people say about you isn't true and not to live your life the way they want you to, they are nothing but bullies.