Laura's Story: The Weight of Loss, the Will to Rise.
What Makes You a Beautiful Disaster?
I have been through a lot, especially concerning the death of my husband by suicide. I am currently active duty in the Navy, a choice I made after enduring years of harassment, bullying, and abuse. Despite everything, I continue to rise, which is what makes me a Beautiful Disaster.
Why Do You Identify with the Beautiful Disaster Brand?
I truly believe I am a phoenix rising from the ashes. I have faced immense hardships, and every time I try to get back up, life seems to knock me down again. My husband’s death hit me so hard that I thought I’d never recover. The stress from his loss has taken a toll on my physical health, but I refuse to stay down permanently.
My Story
Good evening. My name is Laura, and this marks the second Christmas without my husband, Jason.
My journey began with a traumatic childhood. I was institutionalized, where I endured abuse and was subjected to unnecessary medical treatments. The staff told my mother to abandon me, but she refused. She took me out of that environment, and we moved to California, where I eventually recovered enough to pursue a regular education. Unfortunately, the bullying, harassment, and even assault continued throughout my high school years. It became so severe that I had to transfer schools, but I managed to graduate.
After high school, I worked sporadically while attending college. However, the shadows of my past followed me—I lost several jobs due to the interference of old bullies. Eventually, my mother was laid off, and we relocated to Arizona, hoping for a fresh start.
In Arizona, I found my first apartment and secured a job at a call center. It was 2001, and on my second day of work, the world changed with the events of 9/11. During that time, I met a man who seemed kind at first, but his true colors soon emerged. He became abusive—physically, emotionally, and verbally. He isolated me from friends and family, committed fraud in my name, and left me devastated, both financially and emotionally. At my lowest point, I felt like a complete failure.
Determined to change my life, I joined the Navy. I made it through basic training and specialized job training, where I met Jason. I was hesitant to open up after my past abusive relationship, but Jason broke through my walls. We discovered we shared the same birthday (February 15), both of our fathers were named Ken, and both had served in the Army, even though Jason and I were Navy.
Our bond grew quickly. We got along effortlessly, and eventually, we fell in love. Jason proposed two years after we met, and we married after our first deployment. Despite the distance that came with our military duties, we supported each other unconditionally. He loved me for who I was, and I cherished him deeply.
In February 2015, our daughter was born—a precious gift I never thought I’d have.
But tragedy struck again. My beloved mother-in-law passed away suddenly, and I suspect medical malpractice played a role, though I can’t prove it. Jason was devastated, and it marked the beginning of his mental and physical decline. To make matters worse, my father-in-law remarried a woman who harbored hatred toward Jason. Around the same time, I lost my own father and was cut off by my stepmother. In 2022, my mother passed away, leaving me feeling utterly alone.
Jason’s mental health continued to deteriorate, worsened by the toxic influence of his stepmother. Despite my efforts to support him, her manipulations were relentless.
On April 4, 2023, Jason disappeared without a trace. Almost two months later, his remains were found. His death was ruled a suicide.
Since then, I’ve struggled with overwhelming grief. My support system—my parents, my husband, and my mother-in-law—are all gone. I’ve been hospitalized multiple times due to the mental and physical toll. I even failed to make rank in the Navy, which added to my feelings of failure.
The people who should’ve been my family turned against me, spreading lies and hate. My stepmother-in-law even called me a homewrecker, despite being a part of the family for a much shorter time than me.
Now, I have no family left except for my two beautiful girls—my 18-year-old stepdaughter and my 9-year-old daughter.
What Happened for You to Turn It Around?
Despite my health issues and the crushing weight of isolation after Jason’s death, I knew I had to fight—not just for myself but for my daughters. I started focusing on my health, eating better, getting in shape, and seeking therapy. My girls deserve a strong, healthy mother, and I’m determined to be that for them.
Three Things I’ve Done to Move Closer to Happiness:
- Taking Charge of My Health: Prioritizing physical and mental well-being.
- Pursuing Hobbies: Finding joy and purpose in activities I love.
- Spending More Time with My Girls: Cherishing every moment with the two people who matter most to me.
My Favorite Beautiful Disaster Collection:
I love the Phoenix Collection because I’m from Arizona, which makes it feel personal. More importantly, I relate to the phoenix rising from the ashes. Life has tried to burn me down, but I keep rising—again and again.