Michelle's Story: Deciding To Love Myself
I identify with Beautiful Disaster because I have been at the lowest of lows and despising myself to now, today, living the authentic, best version of myself that I embrace and do not apologize for! I love proudly wearing your clothing line and answering questions that result, which allows me to share with other women that they are not alone! We all are overcomers!
I grew up with a father who traveled 90 percent of my growing up years. That impacts a young girl whose every desire is for her father’s approval! (I learned in counseling that over half of a woman’s self worth is developed in their teens and is based on their father’s words and actions.) With zero validation and no examples, I began dating men who were abusive in all aspects of the word. I simply didn’t have it in my head that I deserved better! Well after my 6th abusive relationship, I went drastically from being an anorexic control freak who wanted to keep up appearances to no longer caring about myself. A few months later I was diagnosed with a serious mood disorder and PTSD mixed with anxiety. My parents urged me to go to an outpatient mental health treatment program in my little town where I was given a case worker to check on me twice a week.
I finally felt someone believed in me and the first thing my caseworker insisted on working on was self worth and getting into counseling. Well, it's been a long hard road choosing to believe in myself! I went through 8 years of counseling, gained and lost 200 pounds, come to accept my mental health diagnoses, and went from taking 14 medications a day to just two! I went on a dating hiatus until I could figure out why I attracted and accepted such horrible men, and a funny thing happened!
When I decided to love myself and project my love into the world, it seemed like the world then loved me back!
Today, I love my life! I am almost to my goal size and improving my health everyday. I am happily married to the man of my dreams who treats me like his queen (he knows I won’t accept less! LOL) and I have a bonus son, 9, who has my heart! I have finally embraced my quirkiness and when I am not wearing my Beautiful Disaster clothing, I dress straight out of the 1950’s. (Don’t worry I embrace the clothes, not the standards!) I add to my tattoo collection at least every year and I have quit apologizing! I am proudly a “Beautiful Disaster” that isn’t afraid to stumble and fall on her path to her best self but never stops trying!
My two favorite items are the trucker hat I love wearing while I lift at the gym as well as the incredibly comfy “In Memory” sweatshirt that now is too big but I love wearing anyways! I look forward to purchasing even more items soon!