No matter what I do, no matter where I go, and no matter where I am in life, something always seems to happens and it is a disaster. But, a beautiful one (I guess, it didn't start that way). I was born two and a half months early and I have been fighting for my life ever since then. I have been faced with so many battles since I was born in 1993 and it hasn't been easy, but I am making such a beautiful life out of this disaster I was assigned. 
This incredible brand continues to make me feel like even though things have been difficult for me, I am growing into something beautiful. Everything about this brand has been incredible and how its strength and resilience, and showing women that they are beautiful through it all, is what I love the most. On my sad days I see this amazing brand and it brings the brightness and the light that I didn't know I needed. 
Since I was a little girl, at the age of 4, all I knew was abuse and trauma. I endured so much pain and sadness because of my upbringing. I am a survivor of sexual assault, rape, domestic violence, childhood sexual assault, parental abuse, etc. I am also a survivor of brain surgery with a condition called Chiari Malformation, which is a brain condition that causes the brain to herniate into the spinal canal. It causes a ton of co-morbidities such as a connective tissue disease, arthritis, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, and many more. I also struggle with depression, anxiety, CPTSD, insomnia, night terrors, etc. Life has always been complicated for me and it has been something that I still battle every single day. 
Before my brain condition came about, I was a 3 sport athlete and was very active. During this time it was my outlet to get away from the abuse that I experienced with my birth mother and at times my father. I was sexually abused by my siblings and physically abused by them. I, then, was raped in high school by an athlete on the football team. No matter where I turned I was faced with abuse. Now, I am not an athlete and I have gained so much weight and I am not the same person that I used to be. And though I embrace it, it doesn't make it any easier for me to live day to day. Some days I can barely move and other days I can do everything (but pay for it after). Every day is a fight for me to survive. And every day since I was born 2 1/2 months early I have been fighting to survive. 
I realized that I didn't want to be subjected to abuse anymore. All of my relationships were surrounded with nothing but abuse because abuse was all I grew up with and all that I knew. I grew up in an abusive environment and that was what I thought my life was supposed to be about. And, one day, I realized at midnight in the middle of an abusive relationship that I couldn't do it anymore. I had to figure out what it was. What was it inside of me that was continuously attracted to abusive people. And that was the moment I took my life and my power back. I had to find a way to get a hold of my life and make a change for me to live not just to keep surviving. 
I am the content creator and owner of How To Love A Battered Woman. It is a blog/vlog/video content account with the goal to show other people that they do not deserve the abuse that they are experiencing. My whole entire goal of HTLABW is to be able to help one person feel as if they are not alone. I never want anyone to ever feel the way that I felt when I was laying in the middle of the floor clutching my stomach and crying as hard as my body would let me. Though I struggle everyday with mental and physical health, I am still so incredibly happy that I have been able to heal and continue my journey of healing. It is not linear and it is absolutely beautiful once I was able to reach the gorgeous light at the end of the tunnel. 
I have now found the love of my life and that is what I love the most about Beautiful Disaster is their new product that showcases the two skeletons loving each other. It is literally me and my boyfriend. He has loved me so hard and so much that I am truly able to feel like I am a loved beautiful disaster. He is truly amazing. I am so happy and so incredibly lucky to be able to show my fellow #batteredhearts💜 that they are not alone and they deserve the beautiful things that this world has to offer. They deserve to be shown that there is without a doubt love after abuse and life during chronic illness. 
Explore my socials, webinar, podcasts and Facebook Group: https://drum.io/howtoloveabatteredwoman

Comments

Wendy from Pittsburgh PA said:

What a touching and heartfelt story. You give me hope to one day I to will get away from my abuser and find the happiness I need and deserves. I’m 50 and I’ve been stuck in this web of lies and abuse that it’s all I know and am used to. Here’s to all my B.D. Sisters may we all find piece and happiness together as a family and grow stronger every day. God Bless xoxo

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April 14, 2022