Rebecca's Story: I Am A Beautiful Disaster

TRIGGER WARNING: SA

Every time I read these posts, I can relate. We all have similar stories. Mine started off at 15 days old, my mom gave me to my grandma and grandpa, she was 15. Life was good until about age 8, my little brother who was 18 months old was accidentally shot in a freak accident. The last thing I remember about him was putting him on the helicopter with my mom and arriving to the trauma unit seeing him on the table - gone. My only sibling.

At that point, my mom had been with a man that loved me unconditionally. They had married when I was 3 and moved a couple houses down from me at my grandparents. When my brother passed, my dad repeatedly told me you are supposed to be with your mom, so losing my brother I knew she needed me. At 9, I gave in and moved in with them!

My mom had my uncle baby sitting me where I began being molested from 9-11. I didn’t tell anyone to protect my baby cousin, she was 6. One day while cleaning her room, I found blood stained panties and I packed them in my bag, took her with me when I went home and called 911! What I had protected was all in vain! She later become my partner in crime, the black sheep of the family! Her dad had messed up her life and she only knew one was to numb it and we got started on my trip to hell.

My baby cousin became a angel at just 22 when she could no longer fight addiction anymore, I felt like I had lost everyone I loved, but my dad, the man that married my mom at just 2, always pushed me to get help. I got married at 18 to my husband of now 23 years - 5 kids and 5 grandkids. We were told 2 addicts could not make it. We proved everyone wrong.

When I found out my dad had cancer and this man that had no responsibility for me, he choose to step up. He was on this battle for his life and all he wanted to do was see me sober - I chose that life! Knowing I was a Beautiful Disaster, there was nothing normal about me or my life, but I know my dad got to leave seeing me being a great mom, Mimi, daughter, wife, homeowner, buy a new truck, a job - it was worth everything I had been through. My dad died 2 years ago, but the last thing he said in this world was to me. I said, "Daddy Ty for being the daddy you didn’t have to be". His last words was, "It was my pleasure. I am proud to call you my baby girl. I love you!" Made me know I will always be a clean and sober Beautiful Disaster.