Tara's Story: We All Have A Story To Tell

I want to start out by saying I love you guys and I want one of everything lol, but seriously the whole concept here is amazing. We all got a story to tell and I would love to tell you mine.  

My name is Tara, I am 57, originally from Flint, Michigan.  I was adopted as a baby and still do not know my birth parents. My adoptive mother was physically and mentally abusive, down right evil.  My dad didn't really have a clue, but he was old school Italian and he stuck with her until they passed in 1990 due to suicide.  I had my son and got married that same year, so I don't really think I ever grieved I was just angry.  I always loved to drink, but I was functional and I don't really know when it started getting bad, but it was becoming more of a priority than my husband or son.  Eventually there was jail, for my third DUI, I was put in boot camp and rehab. It did help for a while till my marriage went south.  And, slowly over time, the drinking crept back in, but luckily I got smart enough not to drink and drive, but even worse I would sit in the woods alone and drink till I passed out, a very dangerous situation. I turned to a friend for help and we became involved and was together 13 years. I did not drink out of respect for him as he was sober, but I look back now and I can't really say I was sober, I just wasn't drinking.  Fast forward to 2016, my relationship came crashing down around my ears as I caught him cheating on me, instead of being rational and thinking it through I left Michigan for the first time in my life.  Which in turn damaged my relationship with my son, and we are still working on that lol. I went to Georgia to stay with my step brother and needless to say it was a disaster!  I spent my first few days there drunk, in a camper alone and devastated.  He took me to a motorcycle club house he was friends with so that's where my Thursday nights were spent.  And being in the state of mind I was in I met a man there, he was actually wonderful to start with, but unfortunately his true colors came through after 5 years together. He started with physical abuse and bringing other women home. He is a narcissist to the core, very unstable mentally.  So, of course, I turned back to my old friend the bottle. We were getting evicted last February and we were taking things to the storage unit and he left me there, so I went and got a 1/2 gallon of vodka, drank it in about 20 minutes, for some reason he came back, and the EMT's said if he wouldn't have I would be gone, they had to bring me back twice. I spent 2 weeks in the hospital with pneumonia and I had to have my throat opened up.  During that time he failed to even check on me and the longer I was away from him the better I felt mentally, no one has ever treated me like him.  The morning of my surgery he texted me, I thought ok but nope, he was complaining that he had a bad birthday, the woman he was shacked up with threw him out and he tried cutting his wrists, at that very moment I was done.  This is where my life changed. I had become friends with my nurse and she was trying to help me find a place to go, she got me clothes to leave in. She's my angel.  She asked to pray with me my last night there. I wasn't too keen on in, but I said ok, I was not raised knowing God. And all places to end up it was a Faith Based Rehab, I was very leary, it was called the Mission of Hope. It was in a beautiful, peaceful old plantation house. They treated me so good, they fed us like pigs lol, they taught us how to live again, they taught us how to use the bible as a guide and I actually understood, the biggest thing was I came to terms with my mother. I was told not to look at her like the evil woman I knew or even my mother, think about what may have happened to her to make her that way.  I shared that with my son and that really broke the ice between us.  I wouldn't have made it if it weren't for the mission.  I graduated July 14, 2021, as of the 14th this month I am 11 months SOBER!  My angel/nurse put me in a house, I have found good sober friends, a wonderful church where my Pastor is just like me, he didn't know God till he was rock bottom. I started teaching an art class for people in recovery, not so much teaching them how to draw or paint but for them to express what's going on in their recovery through their eyes. My health is still iffy but I did some damage this time, I am just grateful to be here. My only obstacle is my ex he still tries to get to me because he cannot stand not being in control, but I am holding my ground. Thanks so much for creating this for women, y'all are amazing!!