Dana's Story: One Day At A Time

TW: ABUSE

On August 17, 2022, it was a normal day except my fiance was being so moody. He'd try to start an argument off and on all day and then would be fine, but I would just ignore it because I'm 46 now (was 45 when this happened) and I had told him from the start I wasn't going to spend the 45 years of my life fighting and arguing like I already have it's pointless. So, the day keeps going on.

We went to Walmart, came back out with groceries - everything was fine. Well, he had a gun he always carried in his back pocket. I never thought twice about it, he never pulled it out other than to put it up at night. The whole time we've been together he had always been so good to me, telling me how much he loves and wants to spend his life with me. My song to him was "One of the Good Ones", a country song about how good he was to me and how there's not many of the good ones left. I'm sure you all have heard it. So, yes, I was happy finally. I just knew he was the one meant for me and I said it from the first moment I was around him.

We met on Facebook one day. I kept noticing this guy's picture on my people you may know list and I was like, "wow he's cute", but he won't look at me twice (I've never ever had any self esteem because I've always been put down). Well, one day, he messaged me and I just deleted it. Well the next day he msgd me and said 'I love white trash especially when it's beautiful". I was floored because I've always said I was white trash beautiful and so I msgd back, "how do you u know bout that?" and he said, "because it's on your Facebook" and I looked and there it was.

Well we kept talking and, mind you I've never chatted up strangers on anything on the internet, but there was just something about him. We kept messaging and realized that our families knew each other. So, I was like ok he's safe. I invited him over to my house one day. When he got there, my son went to the door. I had just got out of the shower and I told my son (who at the time was 23) to tell him I'd be out in a few minutes and to sit and feel him out. Well, I hear laughing and talking and I'm like, "wow Jacob doesn't hardly talk to anyone and he was having a good time". So I came in to the living room and told him to come sit in my room while I did my hair and makeup. Well, Sassy was best friend, my husky mix, and I look and she's piled up on his lap and just in love. So in my mind I'm thinking, "what in the world is really going on?! Jacob liked him, Sassy is crazy about him". I was shocked. Well I've always had this gut that I hate and if I could get rid of it I would.

Well, while I was getting ready he walked over and came up behind me and put his arms around me and I was like umm idk how to respond, then I said "omg your gonna feel my fat belly' and he pinched it and said, "What this little thing?" and I almost died lol. So I said, "Oh wow, you're gonna be trouble". I knew that I could fall for him and fall fast, and I did.

Everything was great. Two years goes by with no issues of any kind and then about July of 2022 hits and he's just so different. He was sleeping with other women and didn't even try to hide it from me. He'd sit beside me in the bed at night and be messaging other woman right in front of me. He was taking off for 2-3 days at a time. He would come back, apologize, and promise no more women - no more taking off. So, I'd let it go. He'd never ever put his hands on me, but everyone had been telling me the whole time we were together that he was going to end up hurting me and that I needed to get away from him.

He does have a lengthy criminal record, but nothing that I thought should raise concern and he was upfront about it from the first day we spoke. I'd always say, "He's just a big teddy bear. Y'all don't know what you're talking about, the last thing he'd ever do is hurt me". I truly NEVER EVER thought he would. Ok, so back to Aug 17th, 2022.

So, now that you have low down on the relationship and everything, let me pick back up where I left off.  After we got the groceries put up and stuff, we were stretched out on the bed and we stayed in the bedroom all the time. Well,he'd got an IPhone and was always having problems with it, I've never used Iphone, so I had no idea how to help him with it. So, he was cussing about his phone and would say that I knew how to work it I just wouldn't tell him.  Well he gets up to leave and says "let me see your phone", so I handed it to him. He drops it on the floor and starts to shoot it. I said "go ahead and ruin my stuff because you can't work your phone, wow". Well the gun went off and I thought he shot it. But, he turned around real fast, pointed the gun in my face and said "what if I destroy you?". I was completely in shock. He'd never acted like this before to me. Except about a week before this, he was in a mood and got up going to the bathroom and just walked over and open handed smacked me across the face - I couldn't hear anything. He walked out of the bathroom didn't say a word, like nothing happened and left. That's the only hint of violence he ever showed me.

Well, after pointing the gun in my face, he grabbed my phone and threw it to me and left. I was so surprised by what just had happened. He was gone a bit and came back. Then, he left again and was gone about a hour and came back. About 15 mins after he got back, his really close friend showed up. I was sitting on my side of the bed eating a breakfast bowl watching Modern Family I remember it like it was ten minutes ago. It was getting close to midnight now. His friend was sitting on a stool at the foot of the bed. My fiance was going on with nothing that made sense. His friend and I gave a glance to each other like what's wrong with him?

I continued watching tv and it was just a bit past midnight - now Aug 18th, 2022. The next thing I know I couldn't hear and I was screaming "I can't hear I can't hear". I'm my mind I was thinking "omg he's knocked my brain out again". Well, he had me by the hair on the back of my head. (My hair is down to my butt) (Oh let me add this - once he shot his gun off that day it was still unknown to me to this day I started counting his bullets.) So, I looked out the corner of me eye and that's when I seen it his gun was sitting on the side of my head. My shock turned into fear and I kept thinking. Omg he's going to shoot me - I'm fixing to die. Then, I realized no he's done shot me, he's fixing to shoot me again as I watched his finger pull the trigger. All I could think about was omg please don't let me die like this. Then it hit me omg Jacob may pull in any time and he's liable to kill him so I kept praying to God to please don't let Jacob come home and please don't let me die. Well his friend said "man somebody's coming" and he started out the bedroom and my fiance said "where do you think you're going?". His friend replies "I think the rent man is coming", because my landlord lives next door. So, he told him to go look and I was screaming for help and he said "shut the fuck up" so I went silent his friend said "go on" and "you need to get outta here he's coming".

Well, by now, I've realized that he's stabbing me. He ran out of bullets - he shot me twice in the side of the head. When he ran out of bullets, he cut my throat where he knocked my jugglar vein, and he stabbed me almost in the heart. I had a hold of his arm, begging him to stop and not to kill me, and for about thirty seconds I looked into his eyes and saw him again because before he wasn't who was looking back at me. I said "baby please don't do this to me - please don't kill me". He stopped and looked me up and down and just got up. He said "your lucky you're not dead bitch. If you tell anyone I did this I'll come back and kill you and the boys". Talking about my sons. He walked to the bathroom, came back, threw a first aid kit at me and said "here fix yourself". Then, he started gathering up his things like he was going to a buddy's house. He told his friend to get his beer out of the bottom of the fridge. When he started out the front door he said "Dana when I get out of this driveway, go get help, it's bad. It's really bad " I had leaned up when he said my name, the whole time begging God to let him just leave to please not come back. He said a second time "Dana" and I leaned up again he said "Dana listen to me soon as I get to the bottom of the driveway, go get help it's really bad". I just learned back and said okay.  He took my phone, so that I couldn't call to help so soon. I waited to hear him leave and at first I was so tired I even thought "well I'm just going to lay down until Jacob comes and l can use his phone to call for help". Then, out of nowhere, it was a huge jolt went through my body and I jumped up, looked out the window and I started to grab a towel because when I turned my head blood shot out of my neck like a faucet and I said just go.

So, I ran to my landlords and started beating on the door and he was hesitant about opening it. I screamed for him to look out the blinds and when he seen me he screamed, "Oh God, what happened?!" and he gave me his phone to call 911. All I could think was God please don't let me die with out seeing my boys, please God. I have 911, my oldest son Joey's phone # and had them to call him. I was being brought down the road and we got to the little airport in my town and I heard the woman ambulance worker tell the male one that she can't find a bilateral pulse on me and that my blood pressure was 63/44. He started screaming pull in at the airport if we don't air lift her she's not going to make it.

The trauma team worked on me for six and half hours, and the whole time the police were after my fiance. The landlord told them his name and a description of his car and they passed it and got after it.  He actually went to a friend of mines apt that she has with her girlfriend and had snuck in the apt. When they found him he was covered in my blood and was laughing while he told them "I killed the bitch". The police had the place surrounded and they snuck out of the apt. My friends told the law he was in there and they were able to apprehend him.  He's not been sentenced yet. There's another court date in April and if there's no plea deals then it goes to trial. They had first charged him with attempted second degree murder, but after they spoke with me they moved it to attempted first degree murder along with several other charges.

The DA said that they will not accept anything unless it's him serving the rest of his life locked up or almost all of his life. It's now Feb 2023, and I'm sitting here writing this. Physically I could be in A LOT worse shape than I am. I have bullet fragments all through out my face neck head and chest. Since one bullet went in and shattered and one came out my chin. I'm very self conscious about my looks and I've gained about 20 pounds since I wasn't able to be very physical for a bit, so I'm hating that.

I've since had to move from place it all happened at because my landlord evicted me over me getting shot there. He didn't give a notice or anything, just a deputy showed up with a detainer warrant for a court date the day after my first court date with my fiance. (Which btw soon as he saw me he said he loved me and he was sorry). I was given ten days to leave. I had no car because he destroyed it also, so I am currently staying with my oldest son and his wife and son. I know that there's a purpose for me to be on this earth still and I'm determined to find out what it is and to make good on it. I look at life completely different now I'm a lot more positive, I definitely don't take anything to granted, and that my next 45 years of life are going to be the complete opposite of my last.

Right now, I'm just trying to get back on my feet. Getting a vehicle and a home are my main two priorities, oh and a mattress because I'm still sleeping on the mattress this happened on and there's a huge blood stain on it. (Doesn't make for many good nights sleeps).  I live in a small town and there's not really much help for woman in this type of situation, so I'm just taking it a day at a time and counting my blessings along the way.