Destiny's Story: I Gave Into Temptation And That Was The Beginning Of The End.

What makes you a Beautiful Disaster?
I'm going to start by saying thank you to Christina and every one of you for being a Beautiful Disaster sister. This is a strong tribe that has gotten me through many times when I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have a wall in my bedroom covered with the calendar from a few years ago that I cut apart at the end of the year. I display the encouraging and inspirational sayings along with the cards that come with each order. When needed, I sit and read them to get my head back on the right track.

Why do you identify with the Beautiful Disaster brand?
We all have a story—some worse than others—but either way, they are still our stories. No one is in any position to judge or hold it against the next person. BD has taught me not to judge other women because I don't know their stories.

Tell us your Beautiful Disaster story:
Hello, my name is Destiny. I'm 44 years old and have been a very active member of the Beautiful Disaster Tribe for several years now. Most of my closet is filled with Beautiful Disaster clothing.

I was married to a man who was (and still is) the love of my life. We were happy and doing well when, one night after drinking, everything went south. We are recovering addicts, and that night, he got the urge to score. Even though I begged him not to, he was in a blackout, and there was no reasoning with him. We had just had a miscarriage, and our daughter was about four or five years old at the time. He got what he wanted, and I ended up in the hospital with a shattered arm and wrist. Not from him, though.

The next day, I gave in to temptation and joined him. That was the beginning of the end. He became verbally abusive, and it wasn’t long before it turned physical. Then came the cheating and him packing his things every other day. We both lost our jobs within two weeks of the relapse. I found a new job that I loved and threw myself into it so I wouldn't have to deal with things at home.

On Christmas Eve, he came home, and when he fell asleep, I found messages on his phone that he had sent to a girl we both knew. I threw him out early on Christmas morning. I had to work that day, and our daughter went to his parents' house. I was so angry at him for running the streets, being carefree, and leaving all the responsibility on me while he ran around with drug addicts and gambled away money—his own and anyone else's he could get a hold of. He owed several people who came looking for him to collect.

One day, he even took my wedding ring and gave it to his dealer because he owed so much money. That was the moment I lost all respect for him and started to pull away emotionally. Yet we stayed together for four more years and went through hell.

One day, he had his hands around my throat and, looking me dead in the eyes, said, “Today, you are going to die, b****.” I believed him. No matter how many times I told my daughter, "This is not normal—mommies and daddies don’t act like this. Never let anyone put their hands on you like Daddy does to Mommy," as long as I stayed, she would think this was normal and seek similar relationships. I couldn’t let that happen.

When he said those words, I fought with everything I had to get free, ran to my car, and called 911. They arrested him, and his parents blamed me for it, telling my daughter it was my fault her daddy wasn’t home. She started to feel resentment toward me, so I stopped allowing her to visit them for a long time.

He spent three months in county jail and was sentenced to two years probation, which included intense outpatient drug treatment, Gamblers Anonymous, and domestic violence classes. While he was in jail, his parents pressured him to divorce me as part of his recovery, and he agreed.

As he went through the court-ordered classes, he began to become the man I had fallen in love with and married. He plays on that sometimes, telling me he wants to work things out, only to change his mind. It has been a rollercoaster ride, but I have distanced myself from him and am growing as an individual. The strength of this tribe has been a powerful tool for me.

What happened for you to turn things around?
I realized I needed to let go of the past and move on from him to become a better version of myself.

Name three things you’ve done to move closer to happiness:
1. I let go of my ex-husband and put myself first.
2. I found a new job that I love.
3. My next step is finding a house so I can have my daughter with me the way she should be. She will be 11 this October.

What is your favorite Beautiful Disaster collection, past or present, and why?
My favorite collections are *BFD* and *Work in Progress*.