Devana's Story - Going Back To The Darkness To Guide Others
What makes you a Beautiful Disaster?
I consider myself a Beautiful Disaster because there is beauty in chaos. It’s my middle name—I’m a mess. I’m a mom, I’m a wife, and I’m in sobriety (3 YEARS on 11/30). I cuss like a sailor, but I’m beautiful in my own unique way.
Why do you identify with the Beautiful Disaster brand?
I identify with BD through the names of the collections and their meanings. The way a person can relate to something by just “judging the cover” is amazing.
Tell us your Beautiful Disaster story:
I guess you could start from birth, but let’s skip to when I had just turned 30. After having two girls back to back in ‘08 and ‘09, I thought I was done having kids. Well, that’s why I’m not a fortune teller, because 10 years after my first was born, I had my last—my boy. He was such a wonderful baby, always happy, and he still is. He changed my view of love. Unfortunately, the man I chose to spend my life with just wasn’t keeping up. We had two older girls in soccer, choir, and dance, plus a toddler.
He was only two when the world shut down. We couldn’t go to the park, we couldn’t go to tot time, we couldn’t do anything. So, we started making baskets for people and dropping them off at their doors. He loved it, and so did I. It’s a love language of mine. Somewhere down that road, the baskets turned into “BOOzy baskets,” and I found myself taking shots of cinnamon whiskey at 7 a.m. That’s when it all started. For the next year, I was at my local liquor store twice a day—once at 8 a.m. on the dot for my *first* pack, then back around noon for my *second*.
Now, I think about how awful that must have been for my children to witness. On 8/11/21, my 3-year-old son and I had a single-vehicle accident.
What happened for you to turn it around?
The wreck was the turning point. One second I was a stay-at-home mom, and the next moment I “was a danger.” And to be honest, I was. I immediately started calling rehabilitation centers. I needed help. I cannot live without my family, so every day I get up, and I do it for them.
Today, I’m a Certified Peer Support Specialist, I’m a mom, I’m a wife, and I’m a friend.
Name three things you’ve done to move closer to happiness:
1. The number one thing I remind myself and tell my clients is: *“Nobody else’s opinion of you is your business.”*
2. I’ve changed my way of thinking.
3. I’ve changed how I handle different situations.
If you’re in recovery and work in recovery, there is nothing more rewarding than seeing that light come back into someone’s eyes. It’s truly beautiful.
What is your favorite Beautiful Disaster collection, past or present, and why?
My favorites are “Storm” and “Out of the Darkness,” because I’m the living definition of that. I clawed myself out of the pits of Hell with blood, sweat, tears, and the courts. I made it out of the darkness; I was educated and evolved. Now, it’s time to go back into the darkness to guide others out.